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I've Made a Huge Mistake

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[01 Dec 2009|03:27am]
Dude,you're the one who broke up with me because you don't love me anymore. Why are YOU being the big fuckin' emo baby about it?

FYI: If you're the one being the dick, you don't get to post sad waaahhmbulance videos to your Facebook. That's a right reserved for the person who still loves you but was treated like shit and now has been kicked to the curb.

Go do something more fitting for your douchey personality, like trying to hit on more girls with boyfriends.
trust no one

[17 Oct 2009|11:41pm]
The glove compartment isn't accurately named
And everybody knows it.
So I'm proposing a swift orderly change.

'Cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
And all I find are souvenirs from better times
Before the gleam of your taillights fading east
To find yourself a better life.

I'll get over him someday...right?
1 believer| trust no one

[17 Oct 2009|04:05am]
[ mood | bored ]

My roomie's gone to NY with his gf for the weekend and I've discovered something surprising about myself: I don't like living alone. I thought I'd love it, since I'm a loner most of the time, but after living with other people for so long I guess I just got used to always having at least one or two roommates hanging around.

So I'm sadface right now because it's lonely and rainy and cold. And I literally had nothing to do all Friday so I just laid around and slept too much, so of course now I can't sleep at all.

I can't wait until I finish work this weekend so's I can take my tips and finally buy groceries hells yeah.

Also, I'm watching The Cat Returns right now and it is really annoying how Disney doesn't actually translate the Japanese audio for it's Studio Ghibli movies. Instead, they take the lazy route of slapping on the dub script. For someone who watched way too much anime in her pre-teen/teenage years, I can translate enough on my own to realize that the dub script is not even close to what they're actually saying. Drives me batty, I tell ya.

trust no one

[15 Sep 2009|06:41am]
I just keep fucking up, repeatedly. I need to shove a big fat sock in it already.
trust no one

[13 Sep 2009|01:19pm]

Today I woke up at 1pm and realized that work started at 11. I set my alarm and everything, it just...I dunno, went off and I didn't hear it? Or didn't go off at all? Yeah, and this is the second time in a month it's happened to me on a day I work. I told my boss that I'd understand if she fired me, 'cause I would fire myself at this point. She gave me one more chance, but that's it. She's more forgiving on me than I am. Seriously, what the fuck?

I really fucking hate myself right now. I've never had this happen to me before this month. I don't like to be the employee that does shitty stuff to her co-workers and, y'know, doesn't show up for shifts. I'm usually very professional and a good worker- I think I recently got my boss to appreciate that, when she gave me a raise- but I'm just fucking up royally lately. I am SO on her shit list right now. Like the very bottom of it, right before the "fucking fired" cutoff. And probably the shit list of everyone else at work, too.

I guess the fact that I haven't had a solid night's sleep in about three weeks has something to do with it. What is it that the kids say these days? Oh yeah, FML.
trust no one

middlefinger.gif [05 Sep 2009|12:30am]
........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
..........''...\.......... _.·´

So, five stages of grief. I've been bouncing around on bargaining and denial for awhile, I think. Now I'm squarely in the "angry" territory. Yep. Pissed beyond measure. Pissed about how he ended the relationship, how he acted during the relationship, how he's acting now.

As per usual, he is showing an astonishing lack of tact in going about this. He is exceedingly good at dropping huge bombs on me without any warning or way to react, and he always manages to exude pure innocence when he finally has to deal with the fallout of said emotional bomb. This "skill" of his was never so finely on display as it was during his "I don't wanna live with you anymore, 'kay gonna go to sleep now seeya in the morning" act. Of course, I don't want to downplay the sheer tactical genius of his "A customer's coming so I can't talk for long, but I totally think our relationship is headed for failure and it's probably best if we break up oh hey gotta go now sorry bye!" move.

Of course, they say practice makes perfect, and he certainly has been getting an ample amount of practice lately. His most recent stunt is almost stunning in its subtlety, in its pure diversion of emotional responsibility, and is probably the closest you can get to a complete lack in tact.

Remember my low point? Asking him that if he still loved me that I wanted to be with him as long as I could, until the future got in the way? Imagine a well, a really deep well. One that's so deep and ancient that its walls are lined with dinosaur fossils. I was lower than that. I was about eye-level with the spring that supplies the damn well. And it showed in my voice. To even the most casual observer, it was obvious that I was hurt, in immense pain, and totally fucking in love with this guy.

You'd think maybe if someone's in that bad condition, you'd spent four years dating them, and you consider this person your best friend, that a promise to get back to them regarding the issue on Friday might be strictly observed. In Tommy's case, you'd be 100% wrong. He sent me an IM on Gmail-yes, seriously- that said "Hey I have some more of your stuff, some clothes. I'm going to bring them by on Monday. I might be kind of late."

I didn't get the message right as he sent it- in fact, I was busy getting shitfaced drunk (I'd started around 6 pm) and at that point was lying on the kitchen floor, clutching a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other, and slurring to myself about what an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. By the time I actually read it, he of course was offline and no doubt sleeping peacefully.

Let's break down this message: First of all, he doesn't mention Friday at all. He has either a)Forgotten the day he said he'd get back to me on this, or b) COMPLETELY forgotten about this altogether, which is quite within the realm of possibility. On top of that, it seems that I've been given my response- obviously, if he was going to say yes to my proposal he wouldn't want to give my clothes back. I just got slapped in the face...and then slapped again on the backswing. Nice.

I may or may not have texted him "You can take all your bullshit, and those clothes, and fucking shove them. Okay?" I am declining to comment at this time.

And yes, I will make this public, because he'll never read it. I don't think he's read my journal in years.
1 believer| trust no one

[01 Sep 2009|12:36am]
Okay...so what do I even do with myself now, as a single woman? What do single people do? I've been out of the game so long I don't even know where to start.

I don't even know how to fill my time. Why do days have to have so many damn hours?
4 believers| trust no one

[29 Aug 2009|10:44am]
Your face in a dream returns
Once in a lifetime comes
And it passes by

I'm never on your side
And you must be blind
If you don't know why

He'll always take you for granted
A voice in the back of my mind said
You could be waiting your whole life
For him to open his eyes
trust no one

I AM UPDATING, LOOK AT ME UPDATE [10 Jul 2009|02:06am]
Tommy found some random guy using my ferret macro as an avatar in his paintball forum, so I had to go look at his evidence of my certain impending ~internet famousness~. During the exchange he referred to me as his "wife/girlfriend". Okay, I swooned a little in spite of myself. Tommy saying something like that is like the equivalent of a regular guy buying his lady some fancy jewelry or whatever it is those heteronormative couples are supposed to do to be romantic.

I want to write my (long overdue) final paper for my Gender and the Environment class, which is now due on August 3rd. Of course, now my laptop is a brick, and it took the presentation I need to base my paper off of with it. Without looking at that presentation, I can't even begin to formulate my paper. I don't even remember what most of it's about. And there's no way I'll get an extension on an already 3 month late paper. Awesome. I'm hoping to send it back to the manufacturer in the next couple of days, and they usually have very good turnaround time, so fingers crossed here.

Oh yeah, and in the last couple of weeks I have:
-Listened to the BSO play all Final Fantasy music for an evening
-Seen an exclusive trailer for Final Fantasy 14, which isn't even out in Japan yet
-Met a guy at a booth at aforementioned concert who works at comicsonline.com and is interviewing David Tennant, Russell T. Davies, and John Barrowman at Comicon this year. (nekoama , I can feel your jealousy radiating all the way down from Canada. It's okay, I was totally jealous too, in fact I think I may have yelled at him a little bit)
-Went to a sweet Baltimore rap show (round robin style), which I enjoyed far more than I expected, especially since I was originally dragged to it against my will (Hipsters, man. Hipsters.) If you're into local Baltimore music, or eccentric rap, check out the Myspace pages of: AK Slaughter (The duo, not the lone rapper guy that pops up when you search them), Rapdragons, PT Burnem (Tommy's old friend from way back, also the reason I was forced to the show in the first place), The Height With Friends, and Food For Animals.
trust no one

[27 Jun 2009|01:04am]
I'm such a bad livejournaler. I think the problem is I've associated feeling down/angry with venting in here, and as such when I'm doing well I don't even want to think about my journal. But that's going to change starting right NOW!


Currently eating a pita sandwich with goat cheese, hummus, red peppers, lettuce, and a dash of gourmet honey mustard dressing. IT IS DELICIOUS.

Currently being an idiot fangirl over Doctor Who.

Currently obsessing over clicking pokemans over at gpxplus.net.

Currently wishing my own laptop was not dead as a doorstop so I could play some Sims 3.

Currently also wishing that this laptop I'm borrowing wasn't missing the key between 1 and 3.

Currently living in Parkville, Baltimore with my good friend Paul and kind of enjoying being more self-sufficient. I miss the city though.

Currently playing through Portal, and trying to get myself to start in on Majora's Mask.

Currently buying tickets to see the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra perform Final Fantasy songs tomorrow night! Can't wait!

Some pictures of my new placeCollapse )
2 believers| trust no one

[02 Mar 2009|02:59pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

playdur gifted me with my first rare dragon after seeing my comment in sf_d whining about not having any. And a silver, no less!

*wipes tear* I am...so honored!

trust no one

Lindsay Campbell/ShuuShuu revelation...I'm a little slow. [01 Mar 2009|10:55pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

I was just looking through my paypal history...

Wow. I totally forgot that I ordered buttons from ShuuShuu in 2007 and never got them. Basically, ShuuShuu was this button site created by an artist named Lindsay Campbell, and other DA artists hopped on board to sell their art on buttons as well. Then one day she up and pulled the site, citing "personal reasons". She didn't send out the remaining orders to customers, and didn't refund money. Artists similarly never saw their pending profits or any surplus buttons of their art. For awhile there was some rumor about her selling all the buttons to another company wholesale and running with the money....but I dunno if that was verified. Anyway, after the whole debacle was over (and she hid everyone's replies to her DA journal entry explaining what happened) she just up and disappeared. I tried to search for her today and nothing much came up, except for some stuff from over a year ago. She's vanished!

I can't believe it took me two years to connect the whole story together to my missing paypal money. I guess I didn't notice since it was only $5. I'm really bummed about it though, because I think the buttons I was ordering were made from her really cute pit bull artwork. I really loved her style. It's such a shame the whole thing happened, and even though she screwed a lot of people over, I'm sad I don't get to see any of her new artwork.

trust no one

[22 Jan 2009|05:25am]
My grandma died a few weeks ago. I wasn't very sad...not because I don't care, but because she had a slow and awful descent into constantly terrified dementia and I'm glad that she doesn't have to suffer anymore. I went up to NY for the first time in five years for the funeral. Talking to my cousin, I found out that in her few lucid moments near the end, she would tell my uncle that she "just wanted to die".

I don't really wanna talk about it beyond that. So I won't.

I started reading back on my old journal entries. I hadn't done that in soooo long, I was way overdue. Only got up to the middle of 2004, though. Man, I used to write a lot in here. I've had this journal since December 2003. Crazy, huh?

I also made some surprising discoveries in there, re: the boyfriend. First of all, he had a crush on me as far back as 2003, a full two years before we started dating. Tommy has told me that he pretty much liked me from the first time we met, and it just progressed from "that girl is hot" to a full-on crush as time went on. But judging from a January 2004 entry I wrote, I was aware of his feelings for me? I had completely forgotten this. Hmm. Anyway, in the post I dismiss it as him "being a pervert" or something. Ha ha ha.

Also, Tommy pops up far more often in my journal than I remember, in little tidbits here and there. It's like he was always there in the background, but I just never fully focused on him. And I was really mean to him in high school. I still feel bad about that....kinda. He was pretty annoying, after all. He says that he doesn't remember being all that annoying, but admits that if he was than it was probably because he was stoned.

An AIM chat with Tommy that I posted, 12/29/2003:

"tap the pope: ok its more about trust than sex like im gonna have to really trust someone to tie me up, and even so im gonne have a good friend hide in the closet with a base ball bat and have him comeout swinging when i say potatoe salad
Animeredith: o_o;
tap the pope: and sex is good enough by itself noone food or anything involved
tap the pope: the guys that have food fetishes are the guys that havent done anything
tap the pope: like when they say"i wanna cover from head to toe in honey and lick it all off" by the time they reach anything interest the girls asleep and the dude is in diebetic coma
Animeredith: what?
Animeredith: I have no idea what you're talking about.
tap the pope: and
tap the pope: nevermind
tap the pope: it sounds better in my head
Animeredith: your thoughts aren't very organized, i take it?
tap the pope: no not really"

Ok yeah I still have no idea what he's talking about. But I'm lollin'.

Oh and Cameron, if you still read this...I'm sorry for replying to a slightly snarky comment you left me with a straight up "fuck you :)" back when I was 16. That was totally uncalled for.
trust no one

[12 Dec 2008|11:29am]
Yep, still writing this paper. About...50% done, three and a half hours left before deadline. I'm taking a break because my brain is melting. MELTING.

My Xmas want list, for personal reference-

-Some World of Warcraft paid account time. Just enough for one month so I can play during winter break once I'm done with my schoolwork. One month= $14.99, I think.

-The Pinups for Pitbulls calendar. $20, all proceeds go to pitbull rescues.Also, it's a tax exempt purchase!

-Animal Crossing for the Wii. $49.99

-A car, lol.Just kidding, it's not gonna happen.

That's it...short list this year.

I really want that calendar the most, I think...pinups AND pitbulls, could it get any better? Besides, after seeing all the sweet pibbles at the BARCS shelter the other day I really want to help this breed in any way I can. They're so misunderstood. I can't wait for the day when I'm financially stable enough to adopt one.

Re: my current music. Little Dragon. Swedish group that sings in English. Yeah, I don't get it either, but they're AMAZING. And of course, I find out about them two days after they stop in DC on their first tour of the U.S.

This song. Can't stop listening to it.

Back to paper.
5 believers| trust no one

The good, the bad, the ugly [06 Nov 2008|08:37pm]
[ mood | tired ]

The good:

Check it out, Sofi's Crepes is in the news again! This time it got a huuuge picture (and I do mean huge, it took up half the front page of the "You" section) in the Baltimore Sun! There's only a little blurb in the article about Sofi's itself though, lolz.

The bad:


Two of my co-worker's friends were among that 16 arrested. They were just peacefully celebrating Obama's victory, albeit a bit loudly and at 2 am, and these cops tromp in and start fucking assaulting people left and right. Seriously, what city didn't have people out until the wee hours celebrating? Were there some grumpy McCain supporters drinking the Haterade who decided to call in the noise complaint? Were the cops themselves McCain supporters? With the level of brutality perpetrated on completely cooperative, peaceful bystanders, you'd sure think so.
Here's a little clip someone took on their phone: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpT3O8Stxk4

The description:

"Several Police officers ended an election celebration in Baltimore (on East 33rd and St. Paul Street. They arrested several people posing no threat to anyone.This is a video of one of those arrests; several police took down a middle aged white woman who was simply standing on the side walk near to where the celebration had been taking place.There were at least 5 other arrests in the same area around the same time done in the same way.The police in some cases used excessive force (kicking people off their bikes or ramming people to the pavement)."

Tommy came home from Velocipede (Our local bike co-op). He had met a guy who was present during the incident. He says the police did indeed stomp on his bike, and he's not sure why. My co-workers' friends' story also matches up with this. They said they were pulling hair, tazering, grabbing people randomly and pinning them down, etc. One of the guys was a City Paper writer, and when he tried to record it on his phone they smashed it. They also smashed her other friend's phone. I hope the CP guy writes a good sized article on this, it needs more exposure. This was a serious abuse of power and and a totally unecessary overreaction. Baltimore cops? Fuck you.

The horrifyingly ugly (On the inside):
Holy CRAP! all the stuff coming out about Palin now that the election is over is frightening. She didn't know that Africa is a continent, not a country. She couldn't name the countries in North America. She had trouble with basic civics and governmental policy. She treated her staff like shit. She was supposed to buy herself three suits and instead took her family on a whirlwind shopping spree for clothes and accessories, most of which was funded by a private donor who was shocked at the bill she rang up. And she...once greeted said staff wearing only a towel? What the hell?

Linkitude: http://www.deusexmalcontent.com/2008/11/post-mortem.html

I am sooooo gonna buy the book that will inevitably be published. This woman is RIDICULOUS.
trust no one

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA [05 Nov 2008|12:05am]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Some initial thoughts:

Crap, I'm gonna fail my exam tomorrow morning. I've been wayyyyy too excited to study or sleep.

So happy we won't have to see Sarah Palin anymore. And that's all I'm going to say about her.

Both of my parents, one who was initially for McCain and one apathetic, voted for Obama in the end. This warms my shriveled heart.

I can hear people outside yelling,honking their horns like mad, setting off fireworks.

Proposition 8 passed. Boner kill. I hope Prop 2 in Florida won't end up the same way, but if California (of all states) votes to ban gay marriage then I don't have much hope for any other state.

Also a buzzkill: Slots passed in MD. My roommate put it best: It's a tax on addicted people. And we really need to encourage more addiction in Baltimore city, right?

Obama's daughters are so effin' cute. And I really, really like Michelle. Best first lady ever!

Holy CRAP look at all those people listening to Obama's acceptance speech. Their smiles are about a mile wide.


4 believers| trust no one

My boyfriend won't stop making fun of me [04 Nov 2008|09:26pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Am I the only one who gets really excited on the night of an election day?

Despite its flaws, I just love watching our political system at work.I especially love watching news coverage in real-time with extensive statistics on who won what, by how much, how many votes each candidate got, etc. I think it's absolutely exhilarating. Oh, all the mess-ups thanks to it being live TV provides ample entertainment (On NBC, for instance, their fancy technology just failed them and left the correspondent standing in front of a giant green-screen). I'm so excited that I'm finding it hard to study for my exam that's tomorrow. Is that really so dorky?

Okay yeah, it's dorky. Whatever. Go Obama!

trust no one

[24 Oct 2008|05:01pm]
So I went to pick up some Stephen Lynch tickets for Tommy and his cousins at the UMBC commons desk today...

Me: Four tickets to Stephen Lynch, please
Cashier (Couldn't have been older than 17): Aw man, the cash register is being gay, we'll just sort it out later.
Me:...Excuse me, the cash register is being what?
C: (Obviously thought I just didn't hear her) I said the cash register is being gay.
Me: I don't understand...the cash register is...somehow homosexual?
C: (starting to get it) Oh, um...I'm...
Me: Yeah, that's an incredibly offensive thing to say.
C: I'm sorry.
Me: Yeah. Thanks for the tickets.

Goddamn kids. GTFO my lawn campus!
1 believer| trust no one

Gotta make a vet appointment [23 Sep 2008|09:48pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

I'm pretty sure Brady's exhibiting signs of adrenal.


3 believers| trust no one

Fuck capitalism [14 Sep 2008|11:12pm]
[ mood | pessimistic ]


This shit is getting fucking scary, guys. All this talk of banks that have/are about to fall like dominoes has got me seriously thinking about taking all of my savings out of the bank and just operating in cash. Also, moving to Canada is starting to look really good right about now. All those Republicans outright denying that we're in a recession....really, fuck you guys. Do you really think we're that stupid?

And it's not over yet. The subprime mortgage meltdown? That was a baby wave compared to the prime mortgage tsunami that's headed our way.

It feels like our country's economy is slowly imploding. Hang on, folks. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

trust no one

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